150 words concept/ areas of interest

I want to explore the relationship between humans and animals in terms of skin and other things produced by the body that can be fetishised and commoditized. I will explore ways in which you can adorn your body and ways you can use your body for adornment. I am interested in the permanence of acts performed on the body, cutting hair, tattoos, skinning animals, shearing them etc. The way we are repulsed by images of human bodies at times, bare skin, hair is fascinating yet to wear the skin of another being is normal and not something we can relate to. I will look at Abject art and feminism and artists that deal with this such as Kiki Smith and Cindy Sherman. Lacan's theories of the Gaze and Maurice Merleau Ponty's phenomenology of perception will be some things i look at theoretically.

writings from manapouri

I once spent $320 on a pair of boots. Leather of course because it lasts and it means QUALITY. They broke three times and have a hole in the toe. I can't wear them anymore, I'm not that keen on wearing someone or something elses skin on top of my own. I did a project on tattoos earlier in 2008, peoples opinions on skin are wonderful, the permanence of tattoos (permanence?) people aren't permanent. Its pretty precious to have that mind set. We all love our skin in different ways, we need it to live, to experience the world, to touch; it defines us.
Race-colour-tattoos
Tattoos are bad, so are piercings. So abnormal and SO extreme. Watching the body modification DVD i could not believe the breast implants and face lifts, yet somehow these are acceptable, 'normal' because they fit the standard beauty ideal, they 'enhance'. Tattos are beautiful and personal to their owners, they are unique. Breast implants. well.... they're tits.

I can't believe i own leather boots, or that i was proud of them, polished them, conditioned them, whatever.

On my own skin: It's nice. I have scars on my arms, neck, and chest mainly from burns. They don't worry me and I don't dee a need to change them or hide them. I like having my skin, i wouldn'twant anyone else walking around in it, not that they would want to you would assume.

I want to fix my precious boots, patch up the hole in the toe just to make them whole. I'm not throwing them away, giving them to anyone or selling them i don't see any point in that and it makes no statement whatsoever rather it ignores something very important, a change in ideals that has taken place. I feel that I should try to give something back after taking so much, always taking indirectly to avoid guilt and blame.

I will talk to some tattooists around auckland to see if anyone does scarification, also to a tanner or someone that works with leather products to find out what sort of process is involved. I want to get a small section cut out of my toe, cured and tanned then sewn onto my boot to fix the hole. My boots already disgust me and i am unsure how I would feel about them after doing this.

On Tattoos
I thought about getting one to mark a big change in my life, outwardly altering my body to let people know about it. This is a very personal project, i want to say that in doing this that the work is just for me but it can't be. I'm not hurting or pressuring anybody else, i think i will just show them what i have done and see what they think. People are so stupid. I expect people to be repulsed (if they thought hair was gross see this...)

ummmm, why?
I'm doing this to show that I strongly believe in something. I want to explore the term 'activism' and what this means in the way that i relate to people through my artwork. It's not a huge statement when you look at some of the people on BMEZine, it's pretty weak actually. One small piece of skin when I ate the flesh of other animals for twenty years, and the wound will heal. I'm in two minds about who this work is for, the process and action is for me, the result is for them.

DOCUMENTATION
I loathe it. A lot of the time i see no point in it but i guess it is necessary when you are at school. In this case however i will thoroughly document the process because it is so important, even the simple things like cleansing my skin and looking after it. Recording audio as well as images will allow a wide variety of combinations when putting the work together, it could possibly be quite performative.

HUMANE

random thoughts and unrelated ideas

they have places everywhere in the city where you can dispose of cigarette butts, specially made bins for this 'dirty' habit. Playing with those words it would be interesting to have little stations similar to cigarette bins except distributing lube, tissues and porn.

Looking at gender and sexuality a lot it seems, departing from animal human body issues and becoming more interested in our perceptions of ourselves. After displaying my work in a female bathroom I thought more about gender, sexuality and stereotypes. We have so many choices and decisions to make yet when it comes to these little toilet symbols we ave only tow. Next time I'm on photoshop I'm going to play around with the symbols and colours and create some simple altered images.

On the gender sexuality buzz, i want to collect images of penises, not REAL ones just silly ones that people have drawn, perverse like Sarah Lucas' work in that the images can be cucumbers, anything phallic. Just as a side project and something fun.

I want to paint some hair onto the wall, so that its under the surface but still there all bumpy. If only i had some paint.

Our disregard of animals extends to human life, people starve while we spend thousands on necessities like heated towel rails and ed hardy tshirts (if you have or want one of these you are ridiculous. and should die) I saw a zebra skin floor mat at Mansion house on Kawau Island. It was eew yuck. It would be cool to make a human floor mat, treat others the way you want to be treated.. photocopy myself and stick it to the floor, maybe paint my skin first, have me lying all romantically and feminine on the floor with feminine aspects but also animal. It makes me think of Ophelia, hair floating in the water, dreamy, beautiful, tragic.

Guilt free mashmellows? say what?? Weak soy latte in a bowl with marshmellows you say? *dies* Its almost as bad as a decaf short black, just doesn't make any sense. I work as a barista, people feel guilty eating marshmellows because of the sugar content. Nobody really thinks about the cost of their actions in terms of others, most people have a very short sighted view and can only think of the effects their actions have on themselves and their immediate community. Probably because you can see directly how your actions effect others. Oh well Keep trying! Its hard to see past the here and now and whats convenient, especially in a city like this.

I was thinking of a way to display the self portrait photos i took and think that something small and intimate would be nice. I don't want the body to be too identifiable, main reason being because I would be embarassed (changed my tune on that one...). It looks almost like a landscape because of the perspective and viewpoint, putting it into a small frame would subvert this and make it more like a body again. I know what I mean but I can't put it into words :(

I went to a lecture given by cellular biologist Bruce Lipton on Wednesday night. Very interesting but nothing new in terms of concept. It covered key ideas in his last book and introduced ideas from his new one. It discussed evolution and how our consciousness effects our genes, fractal evolution, nature based on fractal patterns. Positive change, think positive BE positive. I did an essay on body and mind in second year i wish i could find it!! It had a lot of Merleau Ponty's ideas on phenomenology in it and it ruled but my disposable fingertip google knowledge means i don't retain information for any amount of time.

"We can't solve the problems by using the same kind of thinking that created the problem"-Albert Einstein, who by the way was vegetarian like all the other cool kids

DAY I

First day at Elam.
New school, new people, new lecturers, new cafe that burns my soy milk. Coolies.
Project one requires that we create two works of art by next monday to present in our space (if you can call thirteen people in a room space). A smaller space brings about a new set of confinements and implications to work with so can be quite exciting. Lots of room for interaction within the room, high ceilings, grey floors that are almost the right colour to project on to. I think i will use this short project as a social experiment to get an idea of people's feelings and reactions towards the materials I plan to experiment with.
I want to explore skin, people's skin, animal skin, leather, fur, shedding skin and hair-waste, reactions to all of these materials and how they are revered/ repulsive. I am interested in how we use leather so carelessly without really a thought to where it has come from, yet we are so precious when it comes to our own skin, not wanting to burn or scar it, wanting perfection.
Tattoos and scarification do not fit the beauty norm as plastic sugery does even though sugery is far more extreme, body mods such as piercings and large tattoos are considered more extreme. WELL theyre not.
I want to use materials from humans, and my first thought was to use some of my hair. Combing my fingers through my hair a lot of it falls out. It's gross unless it's still attached to your scalp, nobody likes stray hairs! It reminds me a lot of Mona Hatoum's works, she uses both internal and external elements involving human hair and images and recordings of her internal organs.